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This is the kind of shit I come up with when I’m out walking alone in the woods and trying not to think about mountain lions.

You know what we really need? We really need a country song called Irreconcilable Differences.  You know, like the reason you put on your divorce filing when it’s nobody’s fault? It could go something like:

Ir-reconcilable diff-rences,

or so the papers say.

Ir-reconcilable diff-rences,

I guess that’s why we feel this way.

Ten million desperate words we said,

trying to make each other see.

But two cold words on a legal form,

are all that mattered finally.

Ir-reconcilable diff-rences

can’t begin to describe,

the anger, pain, and struggle,

the hurt feelings, and wounded pride.

It was the fall of a civilization,

at least if you ask me.

But ir-reconcilable diff-rences

are all it was, legally.

And have somebody with a Tammy Wynettish accent deliver each syllable with emphasis, with reverence, the way really Southern people always do with technical-type phrases. It’d be a thin line between goofy and sad with this song, so you’d need just the right singer to pull it off.

In related CPA-study-avoidance news:

Did you guys know The Wonder Years is on Netflix Instant? It is!

The first time I saw it was when it was rerunning on Nick-at-Nite, so I get to enjoy the Russian-doll experience of late-90s nostalgia made possible by late-80s nostalgia for a program based on late-60s nostalgia.

Half of the old songs I really love I heard for the first time on this show.  I can’t listen to The Stylistics’ “You Are Everything” without picturing Kevin and Winnie making out, or Jimmy Ruffin’s “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” without the image of Kevin sitting alone at a school dance.

Inside of all that, it’s just a wonderfully well-done show. The stories are always compelling, the narration is thoughtful and rarely overbearing, and something about the way they do the lighting really does let you forget that this is being filmed in 1988 instead of 1968.  And it makes me think: about my parents, my grandparents, and my hometown.  It makes me deeply sad about all of them.

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