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Even freaking Sherlock is like, /No shit, fool./

I was just checking the Weather Channel website, and noticed one of those “Special Weather Statement” links that the National Weather Service posts when there’s going to be severe weather.  Do you know what it says?

It says that there’s a “system” coming through that’s going to make it cold and rainy in Northwest Oregon next week.  As if that weren’t sobering enough, the SWS warns that the first system will be followed by two more systems, which will each be progressively colder and rainier.  And just in case that news doesn’t have you boarding up the windows and firing up the kerosene lamp, it delivers the most harrowing prediction yet: the effect of these systems might cause there to be — brace yourselves for this — snow in the mountains.

I mean, change the “Northwest Oregon” part to “Southern Arizona”, and it really just straight-up sounds like the apocalypse.

You know what this reminds of?  That one time in 2008 when the Weather Channel website told me it was going to be 40 degrees and raining constantly for the next two weeks.  And that was almost exactly what happened — except sub 22 for 40 and DOOM for raining.  But apparently that weather wasn’t special enough to merit a statement.

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8 responses »

  1. you just jinxed us. thanks buddy!

    also, any chance you remember what song you posted on that entry three years ago?

    and thanks for your kind words about my driving! i do not remember being “amazingly calm and focused”. well, focused yes, but definitely not calm on that particular drive. i think i snapped at you once or twice on that ramp up to the airport road…. sorry, belatedly. but hey! we lived to tell the tale

    Reply
    • Song was Honey by Erykah Badu. Have been listening to it on repeat since I linked that entry.

      And for the record, you totally came across as calm, even if that wasn’t how you were feeling. I still owe you a new paint job for that car. And I will get it for you someday when I’m not broke as a joke.

      Reply
  2. Man, it still chaps my ass that I missed Snowpocalypse. I was in GA, being depressed. It was, like, 85 degrees or something.

    And hey, look! Nothing has changed! Seriously, it was 95 degrees here 3 days ago. Then we got a cool snap (like, 60 degrees for about 12 minutes) and it killed my porch plants. Motherfucker.

    Reply
  3. Ooo also! ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS is the best thing I’ve seen in years. So. Good.

    Reply
    • Yeah, it seemed like something you’d be into. My favorite is the french bulldog who’s like, “If you slap me again, Nicole, I will forget how my mother raised me.”

      And for the record, Snopocalypse was nothing you really wanted to be here for. It was really cool that first night, just staying up all night and watching it accumulate. But after that, it was just a mega pain in the ass. I still had to go to work, and the buses weren’t reliable at all, so I had to leave the house an hour early every morning. And leaving the house was this big ordeal where you had to put your pajama bottoms on under your pants, put on two layers of socks, wrap your shitty Payless shoes in grocery bags, hat, mittens, etc. Just not fun at all.

      Reply
      • That description does dial down the magic and wonder. Having to grocery bag my shoes would have sucked. Apparently the OHS employees camped out at the facility through the whole ordeal, so if I’d been there I would most likely have been trapped with a bunch of people who didn’t like me for several days. Maybe not so great, after all.

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