I was just checking the Weather Channel website, and noticed one of those “Special Weather Statement” links that the National Weather Service posts when there’s going to be severe weather. Do you know what it says?
It says that there’s a “system” coming through that’s going to make it cold and rainy in Northwest Oregon next week. As if that weren’t sobering enough, the SWS warns that the first system will be followed by two more systems, which will each be progressively colder and rainier. And just in case that news doesn’t have you boarding up the windows and firing up the kerosene lamp, it delivers the most harrowing prediction yet: the effect of these systems might cause there to be — brace yourselves for this — snow in the mountains.
I mean, change the “Northwest Oregon” part to “Southern Arizona”, and it really just straight-up sounds like the apocalypse.
You know what this reminds of? That one time in 2008 when the Weather Channel website told me it was going to be 40 degrees and raining constantly for the next two weeks. And that was almost exactly what happened — except sub 22 for 40 and DOOM for raining. But apparently that weather wasn’t special enough to merit a statement.