So I went the entire month of June without posting, which is a first for this blog. My goal for blogging has always been at least to do one post per month. So on the one hand, I’m dissapointed in myself for dropping the ball; on the other hand…eh. Better that I spend my time doing shitty business school homework so I can try and actually finish something that I’ve started for once.
Anyway, in the spirit of temporarily avoiding shitty business school homework by thinking up stupid crap(a la “The Gentlemen”), that might have been kind of funny had it been put in a screenplay about 10 years ago or so for some dumb-ass straight-to-video comedy, I present to you:
A REALLY CLEVER WAY TO GET YOURSELF SLAPPED IN THE FACE WHEN A LADY FRIEND RETURNS FROM THE BATHROOM WHERE THE SINK’S ERRANT FAUCET STREAM HAS SPRAYED THE CROTCH OF HER PANTS.
“Is that Niagra Falls hiding out in your panties, or are you happy to see me ?”
I further present:
A SORT OF CLEVER WAY TO TAKE YOURSELF TO TASK WHEN YOU TRY TO JUSTIFY MAKING UP JOKES THAT ARE IN POOR TASTE (INSTEAD OF DOING YOUR SHITTY BUSINESS SCHOOL HOMEWORK) BY TELLING YOURSELF THAT MAKING UP BAD JOKES IS PROBABLY AT LEAST AS INTELLECTUALLY ENRICHING AS SHITTY BUSINESS SCHOOL HOMEWORK.
“That may well be the case — but until PSU starts offering a BA in One-Liner Studies, you’d best suck it the fuck up and do your goddamn Organizational Behavior Case Study, Woody Allen.”
Yeah. So that about sums up all of my accomplishments for today. I tried to go to an open house at a 1-bedroom apartment on Hawthorne around noon, but there were already about 12 people lined up outside the building when I got there, all of them hipsters, so I got back on the bus to downtown and updated my blog to try to ease the feeling of hopelesness. Even with an awesome credit score and good references, I can’t compete with the Hipster’s charms, that’s for sure. I can’t even bring myself to appreciate creatively ironic facial hair — let alone to cultivate any.
Georgia was a pretty good time despite the weather. I took some pictures, and I will post them later this week. I drove up and saw Brasstown Bald, and then thought some about how appropriate it was that I didn’t ever bother to see the highest point in the state until after I was no longer a resident. These are the things I do when allowed to have a car all to myself. Besides listen to a shit-ton of Linda Ronstadt, I mean.