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Written from one of those overpriced internet-by-the-minute stations at PDX.

Dear Airport Security,

That large tube of toothpaste you confiscate from me every time I pass through your checkpoint?  It’s a red herring.  You snatch it and miss the comparatively small butane lighter every single time.  I can always buy more toothpaste when I get where I’m going, you see, but I really need to have a smoke as soon as I get off the plane. 

So thanks, I guess.  And thanks for not reading this.

I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving.



One response »

  1. I often think about the irony of not being able to bring back a tube of mustard for my dad, but being able to, without any attempt at hiding it at all, bring that lighter back for you.

    No matter how spicy mustard is, I doubt it’s nearly as capable of setting fire to the plane as a lighter. Probably more so than toothpaste, though.


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