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I was thinking about health food the other day (I forget why), and had this stroke of genius:  You know what tobacco companies need to start doing?  They need to start putting labels on their cigarettes that declare “NO Trans Fat!”  in big yellow letters — if only so we can all get together beforehand and place bets on how long it takes for the entire office of the Surgeon General to have a massive, simultaneous aneurism. 

I’m thinking 4 minutes.  Any takers?

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7 responses »

  1. Even as a non-smoker, I’d love to see that. Also, the FDA doesn’t regulate what “natural ingredients” are, so they could totally claim to be “All Natural” as well.

    Reply
  2. Not snobbish. Obnoxious. Keri is amazing. She’s cruising with me in January.

    And Guster’s just awesome like that.

    Reply
  3. You need itunes to play mp4’s. Sorry, I should have mentioned it. You’re not anti-Apple, are you?

    Reply
  4. I think I found your address in my phone. I hope so. Anyway, I bought you a subscription to a magazine. I don’t know if it’s any good, but it seems cool.

    RBF is a ska band. They’re not bad, but they’re not really my type of band.

    And bet is totally on about the Matt album, since I don’t think you know this one, but then I might have told you about it at one point because I’ve always thought it was fantastic. But yeah, if you’re right, I’ll totally send you candy. What’s your guess?

    Reply
  5. It’s about time for someone to do a study that concludes that a constant level of nicotine lowers the overall likelihood of being diagnosed with senile dementia or Alzheimers after the age of 70. (Of course, this is not consequent to the beneficial effects of nicotine, but to the odds that you’re 10 to 15 times more likely to die in a fire before you reach your 70th birthday from having forgotten where you left your burning cigarette, rendering the possibility of being diagnosed with anything after your 70th birthday somewhat unlikely.)

    Reply
  6. I just replied to your comment and then realized that I did it on my blog. Not that you don’t probably check.

    Oh, and have faith on the JMB albums…they’re worth the wait.

    Reply

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