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For the past 3 days, I haven’t been able to get this song out of my head, nor this candy bar out of my mouth. Marilyn McCoo has the eyes of a crazy person on an insufficient dose of tranques, and nuggets of dark chocolate suspended in a cytoplasm of soft caramel is sheer brilliance. I must find the Hazelnut bar at once. Major props to Emily for introducing me to the 5 Stars. I wouldn’t know of half the things I like if it weren’t for you, man.

I finally bought this at Powell’s, and it is excellent. Ashley — you can totally tell which entries are by Sars, and she’s truly in her element here. It’ll make you hella nostalgic for Tomato Nation’s golden era. I’m loaning it to you when I come home.

The only qualm I have with it so far is the pejorative entry about I Love Lucy. Lucille Ball is a sacred television cow (She makes the other television cows look like television…um…ungulates that are appreciably less respectable and compelling than cattle), and to profane her exalted name is to forever condemn oneself in my eyes.

I have been trying to find an opening for this job for months, and I come to find out Alaska is having a job fair this week — only to be crushed by the discovery that you get to train for 5 weeks in Seattle (Be still my heart), which will unfortunately conflict with my stupid school schedule. So instead of getting to go to Anchorage — Rapid City! Tulsa! Minneapolis! — for free (for serious) whenever I am so moved, I get to watch my Intro to Business teacher pat himself on the back over how much money he has made in various real estate ventures for four hours every week for $280 (for fuck’s sake). And to think I was having a hard time remembering why I dropped out of college before this quarter started…

It’s a small consolation, but I think I might make all As this quarter, which hasn’t happened since, I think, freshman year of high school. Making this already small consolation even more minute is the fact that I can say for near certain that most of my freshman high school classes were considerably harder than anything I’m taking now (with the possible exception of Managerial Accounting).

It has recently come to my attention that the word “replete” means “full of”, and not “void of”, which means that I get to be all paranoid for the next 2 or 3 days, and think back to every instance where I might have possibly used that word in error since the age of 16, so I can figure out who secretly thinks I’m an idiot. Awesome.

Likewise awesome is that it just occurred to me that the only reason I was really using it to mean “void of” was because it rhymes with deplete, and if I’d every actually taken two seconds to actually look at the goddamn word, I would have noticed the fucking prefix.

Anyway, you might notice the slight adjustment I made to my last entry based on this discovery. Fuck all of you for not making me aware of this when you read that entry, by the way.

Before I forget: what are your Thanksgiving plans, Mama McDaniel? Could they possibly include me? And if not, maybe a trip to the Casa with you and Ken the weekend after Thanksgiving? I get in on Wednesday, and I have to spend Thursday with the folks, and I’ve got to spend some quality time with the Ashley (and hopefully Shirey and the Fraz?), but other than that I’m wide open, and crazy starved for some Fritter Love.

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9 responses »

  1. It’s been another fortnight in the continuing saga, incorporating a failed dental prosthetic device, which re-installation, by the only dentist seeing new patients on Fridays in all of ucking Georgia, and just happened to be in Athens, of course, costing $212, involving pain (even after administration of novacaine) on par with the attachment of electrodes to ones’ gneitals and running a few amps of current through them, although I can only hypothesize, having never tried that myself), conjuring images throughout of some classical evil dentist inflicting torture to obtain confession in some ancient movie, and being exposed to fucking aromatherapy stinking fog belching out of a caldron, and undoubtedly serving as a perfect vector to transmit whatever airborne virus happened to be brought in by some thoughtless staff or patient, only to culminate today having to interrupt my quarterly workload review with my boss, who’d had her guts removed last month due to a combo of bad family history and a positive lab test (that was actually very negative news, when you think about it) to discover that I had bilateral pneumonia, which caused me to agree to a shot of steroidals, even though warned ahead of time that they might result in my being awake all night, but would make me quit coughing with in a few hours.

    Hence the miraculously speedy response to your query about TD. At the moment, TD is a go, so consider this your formal invitation. It will likely be later, rather than earlier. In any event, its on, and everyone who knows you, including your Ma, Ashley, Erin and Fractured Fraz is also more than welcome, as always. The Wayward E, too, of course, although I am fairly sure she will be making TD for W. We will simply install the necessary cameras and watch and talk to each other online. Have to make do with virtual hugs, though. Bah. Only will need an accurate head count on the Sunday before, to shop. Would be nice if Ashley, the AppfelPieMeister could get an opportunity to sample her wares.

    Reply
  2. Time warp? My computer shows it to be 3:19 am, er, 3:20 am, and it’s 3 hours earlier in O, so how come it’s 7:17 am on your 10/31/07 post? what time zone are you pretending to be in?

    And, sorry to vent on my post, but my Censor shuts down around 9pm, (which accounts for a lot of trouble in my life in the hours after 9 pm and before 6 pm the following day, when it turns itself back on, and forces me to play endless rounds of WordMojoGuld).

    No one filed the ‘replete’ error, by the way. Our brains run some form of auto-correct grammar/dictionary program, which is nice bcuz without it we would have a hard time enjoying lolcheezebugers. Which is where I’m headed.

    Reply
  3. There are two other places (besides whole foods, I mean) where we may possibly encounter 5 Star Bars. I’m planning a field trip.

    Really, luxury candy is the only good thing in my life right now.

    I hate school–we should drop out and work for the airlines. We could live in Anchorage! At least then I wouldn’t have to hold anyone down for cathederization. And then I probably wouldn’t get PUNCHED IN THE FACE. Which, yeah, okay, maybe my fault because I was the one who was supposed to be holding her arms. But I got distracted when she kicked me. Where the hell was the chick in charge of Left Leg, may I ask?

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  4. Even the Fats has turned bad. I am very depressed.

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  5. Are *you* going to update more?

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  6. Wait, who do you mean? Because I’ve been making a valiant effort to update. Now I’ve gotten behind on my Netflix…

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  7. I meant Andrew. But you should update more too. Do NaBloPoMo with me. You know you want to. We can pretend like we’re real bloggers.

    Reply
  8. We’ll…wait, is that this month? I may already be a little behind. And guess what!? I’m coming home! December 8th through the 15th. Mark your calendars, bitches. =)

    Reply
  9. Pingback: So Perhaps I Haven’t Changed All that Much After All. « Laissez Faire

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