RSS Feed

Happy Birthday to Me (Actually written on the 19th.)

Appropriately enough, I have so far celebrated the twentieth anniversary of my birth by trying to track down an official record of that very event. It turns out don’t need a passport to get back into the States from Canada yet, but you do need a birth certificate.

I left my mom a voice mail last night asking her if she had a copy of mine, and I woke up this morning listening to her reply voice mail:

“I think you had it last, Honey. Do you want me to try to break into that filing cabinet in your room? I’ll bet it’s in there.”

So I got a nice, brisk start to the day springing from my bed, alarmed, to call her back and let her know that NO, it is most definitely not in the filing cabinet, there is nothing in that damn filing cabinet, and that there is no need to fucking touch the filing cabinet, OK?

I left that cabinet locked for a reason, you see. It’s sort of a memory box of my high school years. Resting in its hanging folders are the remains of the first baggy of super-weak dope I ever smoked, (I can’t help it; I’m sentimental), and a Prom picture of me and Sara and Lauren and that weird guy Sara brought along.

The photo wouldn’t be such a big deal had I ever mentioned to my mom that I went to Prom in the first place. But…I was going through a secretive phase then, and I’d really prefer that she not get her feelings hurt by finding out that her son never let her see him all dressed up for the only formal dance he would ever attend. Yes, OK, I was kind of an ungrateful teenager. This is not news.

But as of today I’m no longer a teenager, and in the spirit of maturity that comes with age, I’m going to show Erin what a grateful 20-year-old I can be. I opened my mailbox this morning and found 19(!) Suicide Bunny postcards.   This one is far and away my favorite:

 Suicide Bunny

(Click to enlarge.)

Erin, your position on my personal heroes list is officially tenured. My mailbox has never been that full. It is so unbelievably great on your birthday to open a mailbox that is filled with things other than Comcast ads and cell phone bills, you have no idea.  You made me feel special.  Real special.  Please send me your mailbox address at camp so I can send you a gushing and appreciative Thank You note.

Don’t worry, you guys: I’m getting the birth certificate FedExed from the Georgia Records Bureau. It should be here by Thursday.  


5 responses »

  1. Okay. I feel awful. Apparently, in light of your supposed “maturity,” I have been neglecting to teach you the basics of moving out. When we move on (and move out), we DO NOT LEAVE OUR INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE BEHIND. It’s just like that 100 billionth war movie, when they’re all like “Dude! No one gets left behind!!!” Except it’s pot. I forget sometimes that you are just another delinquent whippersnapper, and do not necessarily know these things. What did we learn, Andrew my dear, from the Tale of Emily’s Abandoned Sex Toy?

    On an entirely different note, happy birthday. Remind me to get my mom to overnight W and my birth certificates.

  2. Since I don’t have an Internet connection or your birthday memorized, I missed it completely. I’m sorry, but happy birthday all the same. 🙂 I hope it was grand. By the way, I cannot come in mid-August because of classes (start on the 16th). This makes me extremely sad, as I will now be doing nothing after GHP until school starts. Maybe I can visit over Fall Break when I will NOT be going to the GA/FL game. If not then, uh….

  3. My camp address:

    Camp Misty Mountain
    Shellcracker Cove
    490 Lake Marvin Rd
    Armuchee, GA 30105

    The accordian should be sent there. And, you know, everything else that needs to reach me until mid July.

  4. So is there an accordian coming my way or what? How much is shipping?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: